JOKES----add humor to ur life

First line to write in exams:
“All the answers written below
are imaginary and work of my creative mind.
Any resemblence to text book
is unintentional and purely accidental”

What is FEAR ? ?
FEAR is…. that deep,
wrenching feeling when pages of your book still smell new,
just 1 day before EXAM.

☻The Law Says
“If U Can’t Convince Them
Then At least Confuse Them”
Do You Know Which Law It Is?
.
.
.
This Is
“Law Of Answering In Examination”

☻Cricket is getting excited day by day with the introduction of ICL n T20…
Same rules should be applied in Examz!
(1) Exams Timing Should Be Reduced To One Hour.
(2) Power Play – No Invigilator In Exam Hall For 1st 15 mins.
(3) Cheer Leaders – To Dance After Every Right Answer Written.
(4) Strategic Time-Out – Time For Students For Discussion.
(5) Super Over – Chance For Students To Form Their Own Question.

☻According to newton’s 4th law for exams-
every book will continue to be at rest
or covered with dust
until some
external or internal exam moves it!

☻Education is an organized system
through which we waste half of our life
to learn how to waste
the remaining half of our life!

☻The Most Unfulfilled Desire Of All Science Students Is…
A Bomb Should Have Fallen
Instead Of
An Apple On NEWTON…:D

☻Rain of summer, snow of winter,
grace of autumn, glory of spring,
May beauty of every season
give ur heart a beautiful reason 2 smile.
May God suceed u in every exams of ur life.
Good luck & all the best

☻Principles of student life.
Love your bed, Its your temple.
Relax in the days, so that you can sleep at night.
Books are holy, so dont touch.


All i want you is to be courageous
Be calm and
be self equipped with facts and figures
to conquer this exams battle.
I wish you is best of luck in your exams

☻Fights for friends.
Joyful trips.
Examination fever.
Suspense of results.
Making parodies of teachers.
Joking with juniors.
Carefree laughters.
Gossips about affairs.
Just everything….
People call it ill manners.
We call it life.

☻Teacher: What is the difference between
Landline and Mobile Phone..?
Sardar: On landline we dial number with our finger
while on mobile we dial number with our thumb.

☻If a paper comes very tough in exam.
Just close your eyes for a moment.
Take a deep breath and say loudly.
.
.
.
This is a very interesting subject,
I want to study it again.


☻Take chit in the exam,
scratch and show to your nearest teacher
win a trip to principal’s office
and enjoy 3 days holiday at home
Hurry, offer valid till exam last!!!!

☻A student grabbed a coin,
Flipped it in the air & said,
“Head, I go to sleep.”
Tail, I watch a movie.
If it stands on the edge I’ll study:p

☻What is
M A T H S…..?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
M-Mental
A-Attack
T-To
H-Healthy
S-Student

Kerala version of The Hotel California

i read this somewhere its funny so sharing here :)


Kerala version of The Hotel California by The Yeagles

On the road to Trivandrum
Coconut oil in my hair
Warm smell of avial
Rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance
I saw a bright pink tube-light
My tummy rumbled, I felt weak and thin
I had to stop for a bite
There he stood in the doorway
Flicked his mundu in style
And I was thinking to myself
I don't like the look of his sinister smile
Then he lit up a petromax
Muttering "No power today"
More Mallus down the corridor
I thought I heard them say
Welcome to the Hotel Kerala-fonia
Such a lousy place,
Such a lousy place (background)
Such a sad disgrace,
Plenty of bugs at the Hotel Kerala-fonia
Any time of year
Any time of year (background)
It's infested here
It's infested here
His finger's stuck up his nostril
He's got a big, thick mustache
He makes an ugly, ugly noise
But that's just his laugh
Buxom girls clad in pavada
Eating banana chips
Some roll their eyes, and
Some roll their hips
I said to the manager
My room's full of mice
He said,
Don't worry, saar,I sending you
meen karri, brandy and ice
And still those voices were crying from far away
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them pray
Save us from the Hotel Kerala-fonia
Such a lousy place,
Such a lousy place (background)
Such a sad disgrace
Trying to live at the Hotel Kerala-fonia
It is no surprise
It is no surprise (background)
That it swarms with flies

The blind man was pouring
Stale sambar on rice
And he said
We are all just actors here
In Silk Smitha-disguise
And in the dining chamber
We gathered for the feast
We stab it with our steely knives
But we just can't cut that beef
Last thing I remember
I was writhing on the floor
That cockroach in my appam-stew was the culprit,
I am sure
Relax, said the watchman
This enema will make you well
And his friends laughed as they held me Down
God's Own Country? Oh, Hell!

chintan welcomes u all